Coming of age in key change culture
Or, how Trump happened because we stopped modulating (probably)
Curled up on the sofa on New Year's Day, for the first time not even remotely hungover, but still being punished by my body for a reason I don’t deserve, I watched Boybands Forever, the BBC documentary about the boybands of yore, all of it. I didn’t even stand up; I just lay there, pretending my hot water bottle was a cat, and travelled back in time…
This documentary is excellent for many reasons. Firstly, it was very well-timed for Robbie Williams given the release of his monkey biopic Better Man (though a shame it didn’t help him at the box office). Secondly, it shows how much of an unrepentant arsehole this one News of the World journalist is. Seriously, way to take absolutely zero accountability for ruining people’s lives! That age is past, you were found guilty, stop doubling down.
And my final and main reason: it appreciates the significance of this genre of pop music. The documentary criticises the industry for the way it continues to take advantage of young singers - Simon Cowell says they bring it on themselves by deciding to be musicians (shut up, Simon!) - but the music itself is treated with respect. The music isn’t belittled. It might be out-of-fashion, but it’s not just nostalgia that keeps us coming back for more. Many of these songs are musical masterpieces and I will die on that hill, belting out My Love by Westlife with my final breath.
I could go on at length about that documentary – please engage me in conversation about it at a later date – but this is about something more specific and insidious that has been happening in the music industry in the last two decades. It is touched upon flippantly by Simon Cowell (shut UP, Simon!) but I think it might be responsible for many of the terrible happenings in the wider world at the moment. It’s why Brexit happened and Trump, probably.
We don’t have key changes anymore. And as a result, we are all infected with sadness.
I came of age in an era that made me believe that key changes were a staple, not just of music, but of life. It feels unfair to me that, since then, I have had to live in a culture that treats them as insignificant – it’s the one part of being a (relatively) young person that no one seems brave enough to talk about. Key changes were not only a mainstay of the 90s and 00s; you’d better believe they were all over the shop in the 70s and 80s as well, before my presence on this earth was even imagined. So why, a decade into my life, were they so suddenly ripped away?
People may say it’s because they’re cheesy. People may say they’d become overused. People may say, why do you keep saying “key change” when you mean “modulation”? People need to chill – maybe you are cross with me because you haven’t heard a key change in a really long time. It can’t be a coincidence that everything is so terrible now and also songs don’t have key changes. If we’ve learnt anything from this golden age of Internet, it’s that, if two things are happening at the same time, they must be related.
Which brings me onto my major campaign for 2025:
BRING BACK KEY CHANGES
My reasoning is threefold and watertight:
An upward key change creates a physiological reaction that actually makes you feel more positive, according to science1
A key change is the perfect uplifting accompaniment to our little mental health walks
The musical landscape is ripe and ready! The pop girls and gays are going to get SO on board with this!!
It truly couldn’t be a better time to be bringing key changes back into the public consciousness.
I went on a walk the other day, which was, due to circumstances beyond my control, in January. It couldn’t have been a less appealing time to be outside but it is important for health to be using my muscles. I’m going to karaoke in a few days and since Wicked came out I’ve had to shelve my >10 YEAR LONG song of choice (Defying Gravity. You have to understand that prior to 2024, this was not a common choice!). For the first time in over a decade, I’ve got to find a new way to show off. So, as I walked around grumpily in the rain, I revisited my youth. I found Never Had A Dream Come True by S Club 7.
And do you know what happened? I felt good. I felt happy. I felt like it wasn’t even January. And then do you know what happened a few days later? January ended! That cannot be a coincidence.
My sister and I have discussed this key change dearth at length over the years, but more time has been spent listening to Will Young’s Evergreen. We have found that the only real antidote to negativity is to listen to Will Young’s Evergreen.
And so, to support my crusade, I have compiled a playlist. This is not a playlist where I’ve chucked in every song with a key change willy nilly. Do not tell me to put Livin’ On A Prayer in my playlist, what do you think I am? Straight? No. This is a curated playlist for you to listen to on your walk and to mouth along with. It’s a cute hour and eight minutes long, not too overwhelming, and contains a variety of genres from pop to country and one song from High School Musical.
And before you say anything, I don’t think I should have to justify the inclusion of Nickelback in this playlist, or back up my argument for why I can include Nickelback but not Bon Jovi – instead of chastising me, why not turn your attention to the question of why, if Nickelback can do it, why can’t everyone else? Also, leave Nickelback alone for a second. It’s so basic to hate on Nickelback (why am I defending them, I literally know two of their songs).
The Playlist:
It is strange to be part of the last generation to come of age under key change culture. We are the last generation to understand how important it is to stand up in unison from our stools at just the right moment. (Maybe if everyone stood up in unison from our stools at just the right moment, THE PLANET WOULDN’T BE DYING2) We are all thinking about this constantly but rarely talk about it. It’s the root cause of the male loneliness epidemic. Think of what we could do if only we had the courage to speak out.
I do fear for the future of the planet. I fear for future generations, those who didn’t grow up in such a carefree age when you simply could start a song in C and end it in D and that was a normal thing to do. Will they ever know how it feels to modulate with abandon?
But there is hope. That hope is, as usual, Beyoncé. An artist whose 2011 hit Love On Top took key change appreciation to a whole new level (nice one), with FOUR of them in a row. She loves a key change! She was “smiling out from ear to ear”, for god’s sake! This song’s impact on me was not only influential because I wore knock-offs of those Isabel Marant wedge trainers for the entirety of that year. In fact, maybe the key changes were the direct reason I ordered those shoes from a dodgy website that didn’t send me a confirmation email and waited a month for them to arrive – maybe it was some kind of subliminal positive messaging. Naaaah, they were cool shoes. I should dig those out. My point is, if Beyoncé’s done it at any point, it becomes timeless and eternal. And who are you to argue with the reigning Grammy Award winner for best album?
So, join this campaign. We’re about to do something huge. We’re gonna bring back key changes. We’re gonna take this moment, and make it last forever. We’re gonna give our hearts away and pray we stay together. Because you’re the one good reason, you’re the only girl that I need (???) Because you’re more beautiful than I have ever seen (this has gone off the rails). We’re gonna take this night and make it…
Evergreen.
p.s. please enjoy the playlist and let me know in the comments what key change songs you’d include (I won’t add them in, but it’s always good to know)
I made this up, but doesn't it feel real?
I’m talking about politics.